A Friend In Need

Dear Ford Motor Company,

We need to talk...seriously.

This is difficult for me, since I feel like I'm trying to talk a friend into going into rehab or something.

Let me just say that I think you make great products and I (mostly) trust your brand and have for many years now. My family trusts you too. Therefore, I feel the need to say something:

Get help. Get help now.

Okay, I admit that I don't know where the help is supposed to come from (Nissan? Honda? Chrysler?). However, it's time to admit that you have a serious problem.

Let's start with the net loss of $12.7 billion that you posted over the last year...

...which led to you cutting 30,000 jobs and closing 14 North American plants...

...and conclude with a recent report that, in your turnaround efforts, you are missing the marks that you set for yourself.

Wow. This is bad. Really bad. I...I hope that I don't need to tell you this.

Well, at least you had a chance to save some face with your racing program this month, being that the Daytona 500 was going on. Nothing cures company hardship like a win at the Great American Race, right?

And it started promising! Robert Yates Racing put its two Ford Fusions on the front row at Daytona!

Oh, but how it ended.

Only two Fords in the Top 10. The Top 4 were Chevrolets.

That isn't even the worst part. Mark Martin, a loyal Ford driver for nearly 30 years, nearly won the race. He finished a close second...

...like I said, driving a Chevrolet...for another team...

...and this was Martin's sentiment after the race:

"Mark Martin told former teammate Jeff Burton during the offseason this might be his best chance to win the Daytona 500. He told him the restrictor plate program for the Chevrolet he would drive at Ginn Racing was better than any of the Fords he drove the past 19 years for former owner Jack Roush."

Ouch.

Well, it's not like this is a new sentiment or anything. A defector to Toyota, Dale Jarrett, already criticized you for a lack of funding and engineering resources to Ford teams.

Not that you can be blamed too much...you really can't fund teams when you don't have money to begin with.

So that's that, Ford. You have little money, fewer workers, and no credibility in the nation's most popular racing circuit.

You are losing badly.

I do not have the answers for you. However, it is time to recognize that the situation is desperate.

If you need a shake-up at the top of the company, do it. If you need to develop smaller, cheaper, more fuel-efficient cars, you better believe that you should do it.

If you need to merge with one of these companies, well...

...at this point, I don't think you're in much of a position to bargain.

Get help, Ford, before you lose everything.

Kevin Harvick, asshat

At a Tuesday night media session designed to outline Dale Earnhardt Inc.'s 2007 season goals, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. was pointedly asked to respond to comments Kevin Harvick made earlier in the day about the perception that Teresa Earnhardt is an absentee team owner.

``It's hard when you have what I call a deadbeat owner that doesn't come to the racetrack,'' Harvick told reporters during a stop at Richard Childress Racing.

Dear Kevin Harvick,

You may be right. Teresa Earnhardt may not be at the racetrack every Saturday or Sunday. Dale Earnhardt, Inc. may be running races without its owner on many a raceday.

Why is that? I don't know. Maybe she's still recovering from losing her husband at a racetrack. Maybe it drives her half insane to be constantly around the things that took her husband's life. Maybe she understands the business aspect of the sport much better than the mechanical half, and she trusts the men who work on her cars to take care of that half.

If any of those things are true, maybe, Mr. Harvick, you're right to suggest that she is distracted and that she should step aside from ownership of DEI.

A couple of things strike me though: First, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. was competing with the best of the Chasers last year until Brian Vickers wrecked him at Talladega. Junior may very well have won the title, or at least come closer to it, if it hadn't been for that wreck. Did Teresa Earnhardt's presence cause that wreck? No. Did Teresa Earnhardt's absence cause that wreck? No. And in any case, Jr. finished 5th in the standings.

Second, when Jeff Gordon was making his run of championships in the late '90s, was Rick Hendrick at the track for every single race? No. Clearly, he wasn't at the 1997 Daytona 500 when all of his cars finished in the Top 5. Much of Gordon's success in that era was later attributed (probably correctly) to the work of his crew chief, Ray Evernham (now the owner of Kasey Kahne, Elliott Sadler, and Scott Riggs, despite accusations that he too is an absentee owner, which is another topic for another day). Did Rick Hendrick's absence or presence at the track make any difference to how Gordon dominated? The answer must be no.

The logical conclusion to this is that the owner's presence at the track on raceday makes little difference to how the driver does. In fact, if Teresa Earnhardt is absent from the racetrack as often as you say, the feats of DEI, especially on restrictor plate tracks, are all the more impressive, I think.

So, Mr. Harvick, maybe Teresa Earnhardt isn't at the racetrack, but I doubt that she's dragging her team down. If you wonder why Dale Earnhardt, Jr. has struggled at times, and I'm sure that everyone has, perhaps it's because he's got more pressure on him to win than any other driver in NASCAR. He is the prince, the crown successor to the Earnhardt dynasty, and he could not get out of the spotlight if he tried. Every move that Junior makes is critiqued and analyzed to death by announcer and fan alike. Maybe he just needs the pressure to subside, or he needs to learn to ignore it.

That said, Mr. Harvick, I hope that Earnhardt Nation is pissed at you, because you are certainly not helping the situation. All you've done with your comments is put more pressure on Junior. And why? Is it because you just needed to run your mouth off? Was this a half-hearted effort to try and lure Junior to Richard Childress racing? Did you want to psyche out an opponent before the season starts?

Whatever your reasoning, Kevin Harvick, it's time to shut up. You can't possibly understand Teresa Earnhardt's feelings, and you probably can't understand the situation at Dale Earnhardt, Inc. Teresa Earnhardt is not your owner, and it is not your place to comment on her race team.

And what about your team, Kevin? What about your focus? Why, despite having a dominant car for much of the Chase, you mustered no better than 4th. What about your continued presence (and boring domination) in the Busch Series? Could that be distracting you from winning a championship?

Conveniently, the struggles of Richard Childress Racing have hidden your lack of focus, Mr. Harvick. This year, with Richard Childress being "back" by all accounts, you probably won't be so lucky. That said, I hope that you're ready to answer when the tough questions start coming.

And I also hope you learn to mind your own damn business.

Ode to an Announcing Legend

Dear Benny Parsons,

In an era when sports announcers mostly consist of the overly-polished, Ivy League-trained snobs or know-it-all, arrogant former athletes, you were different.

Your homespun Southern drawl and hearty laugh made listeners feel like their grandfather was announcing the race.

Your ability to make even the most mundane racing move seem incredibly exciting was a characteristic that Darrell Waltrip now can only wish that he will match.

Your behind-the-scenes insights and personal asides brought out the humanity of NASCAR personas, and it made the sport not only watchable, but likeable.

You made every race that you announced a joy to tune into, every single time.

When ESPN lost the right to broadcast races just before the 2001 season began, my biggest concern was that I might not get to hear you announce again. Fortunately, you did turn up on NBC later that year.

Thank goodness. Everyone who ever listened to Benny Parsons comment on a race is better for the experience.

I cannot imagine a year without Benny Parsons in the booth. Unfortunately, now I must.

You will be missed, Benny.


Benny Parsons 1941-2007