Why Are You Still Here?

Dear Matt Millen,

Congratulations!

You are one of only two people in the United States whose continued presence in your office makes people want to scream, cry, and tear their hair out.

The other, I think, is George W. Bush.

Think about it: both men inspire large groups of people to congregate and conduct chants calling for their firing.

And why the hell not?

But back to the subject at hand, Mr. Millen. I cannot, for the life of me, determine why it is that you have a job right now. The Detroit Lions are 24-72 under your watch as General Manager. You have a top 10 pick in the draft for at least the third straight year. The Detroit Lions have finished last in their division for all but two years of your six year tenure (The other two years they finished next-to-last).

Perhaps most importantly, every single Detroit sports team has made a playoff appearance during your tenure. Even the Tigers! Sore subject?

I guess you have a job because owner William Clay Ford can't seem to let you go. Did you impregnate his daughter or something? Is he holding a shotgun to your head to make sure that you marry her? More importantly, will you honeymoon in Appalachia?

Okay, all joking aside (I think), you say, "I'll never quit...it's the way I'm made." Sure, it's the way I'm made too. The difference between you and me though, Mr. Millen, is that when I really suck at something, I walk away before I want to hang myself.

You'd think, with all of the criticism that George W. Bush receives, he might feel the same sorry way. However, there are people who think that George W. Bush is doing everything right (unfortunately), and people DO support him. Does anyone support you, Matt? I mean, besides from within the organization? Mr. Bush has at least 20% of the country agreeing with him at any given point in time. Does anyone agree with you Matt, besides Ford and the players that you overpay? What about them? Any big names signing with Detroit, or are the only ones who WANT to come back the ones that you brought in?

Seriously, Millen, step down! You can't be possibly be happy doing this. Would you rather live your days with an entire metropolitan area wanting your head, or would you rather go back to announcing, where maybe a couple drunks in a bar disagree with what you say? You can't honestly tell me that the former is preferable to the latter.

Sometimes, you just can't do something. Me, for example, I can't be an Olympic gymnast; I'm too old and inflexible. So what do I do? I stay the hell away from Olympic gymnastics! Likewise, Mr. Millen, you should stay the hell away from being the GM of the Detroit Lions.

And think about that "old and inflexible" comment.

http://www.firemillen.com