He plays hockey, so that means he can sneak you some beer

So apparently James Wisniewski is going to be greeting DePaul students as they come back to classes on Friday.

DePaul students will likely respond by saying, "Who the hell is James Wisniewski."

I guess this is what qualifies as "publicity" for the 'Hawks. See, what would have been better would have been to send Jeff Hamilton. Students could also win a date with him. See, that would be kind of funny, because it's just like the movie! And...what?...why did they send him to Carolina? Didn't he have a hat trick last year?

Well, that just sucks. Way to lose again, Chicago.

Free Tickets To See a Bad Team? What Could Go Wrong?!

Dear Wirtz Family (owners of the NHL's Chicago Blackhawks),

Hi. Me again.

I know you've hated my unsolicited advice in the past...actually, you probably don't even know that this blog exists...oh well, I like to vent. So you're going to get my unsolicited advice again.

I saw this headline in the Chicago Tribune

It says that you were offering free tickets (good seats too, right near the ice) to the Blue Jackets game this past Friday. It says that you were notifying fans who had bought tickets to 'Hawks games in the past.

The result was people giving away the Ticketmaster code to buy the tickets on Craig's List. The result was also season ticket holders sitting next to people who hadn't paid a thing for the tickets, though fortunately, there weren't many of them.

Okay then. Since you obviously don't get it yet:

1) When ticket sales are particularly bad, such as this year, when attendance at 'Hawks games was 2nd worst in the entire NHL, you definitely should NOT piss off the season ticket holders, who pay good money for their tickets, by making their tickets the equivalent of worthless...EVEN IF IT'S JUST FOR A DAY!!!

2) When giving away really good tickets, try contacting the good people who, when they do come to games, sit in the 300 level. I went to two 'Hawks games this year. I wasn't even aware of the promotion. I'm a loyal fan, you fucking pricks. I probably would have even gone. Oh well.

3) When giving away free tickets, try lowering the cost of parking around the arena. Currently, it ranges from $12-$15 per car. Given the cost of gas these days, those parking costs don't really make the trip worth it. Oh, and another thing:

4) If you want fans to come to the games, try building a winning team first.

You can start by firing that idiot coach and General Manager.

But I've already told you that.

Anyway, this is a new low for a proud franchise. I think only the Detroit Lions are worse...and that's a stretch.

A Final Grade

Dear Wirtz Family who owns the Chicago Blackhawks, (and all Blackhawks fans who are reading, for that matter),

Today, the Blackhawks blew a 2-1 lead to lose 3-2 to the Calgary Flames.

This brings the Blackhawks to 63 points, 6 behind the Columbus Blue Jackets for last place in the Western Conference Central Division, and last overall in the Western Conference.

If you care at all about the Chicago Blackhawks, please immediately fire Denis Savard, the Head Coach, and Dale Tallon, the General Manager. They have proven completely unable to put together a winner.

In the meantime, please seriously consider and contemplate why you wish to own one of the most money-draining and unpopular franchises in all of sports.

Did you hear me? You are almost certainly losing money. You are less popular than the Wolves. You CAN'T be making money.

Please give serious, thoughtful consideration to running this hockey club. Thank you.



Yeah, it's probably hopeless, but nothing could HURT at this point, could it?

A Friend In Need

Dear Ford Motor Company,

We need to talk...seriously.

This is difficult for me, since I feel like I'm trying to talk a friend into going into rehab or something.

Let me just say that I think you make great products and I (mostly) trust your brand and have for many years now. My family trusts you too. Therefore, I feel the need to say something:

Get help. Get help now.

Okay, I admit that I don't know where the help is supposed to come from (Nissan? Honda? Chrysler?). However, it's time to admit that you have a serious problem.

Let's start with the net loss of $12.7 billion that you posted over the last year...

...which led to you cutting 30,000 jobs and closing 14 North American plants...

...and conclude with a recent report that, in your turnaround efforts, you are missing the marks that you set for yourself.

Wow. This is bad. Really bad. I...I hope that I don't need to tell you this.

Well, at least you had a chance to save some face with your racing program this month, being that the Daytona 500 was going on. Nothing cures company hardship like a win at the Great American Race, right?

And it started promising! Robert Yates Racing put its two Ford Fusions on the front row at Daytona!

Oh, but how it ended.

Only two Fords in the Top 10. The Top 4 were Chevrolets.

That isn't even the worst part. Mark Martin, a loyal Ford driver for nearly 30 years, nearly won the race. He finished a close second...

...like I said, driving a Chevrolet...for another team...

...and this was Martin's sentiment after the race:

"Mark Martin told former teammate Jeff Burton during the offseason this might be his best chance to win the Daytona 500. He told him the restrictor plate program for the Chevrolet he would drive at Ginn Racing was better than any of the Fords he drove the past 19 years for former owner Jack Roush."

Ouch.

Well, it's not like this is a new sentiment or anything. A defector to Toyota, Dale Jarrett, already criticized you for a lack of funding and engineering resources to Ford teams.

Not that you can be blamed too much...you really can't fund teams when you don't have money to begin with.

So that's that, Ford. You have little money, fewer workers, and no credibility in the nation's most popular racing circuit.

You are losing badly.

I do not have the answers for you. However, it is time to recognize that the situation is desperate.

If you need a shake-up at the top of the company, do it. If you need to develop smaller, cheaper, more fuel-efficient cars, you better believe that you should do it.

If you need to merge with one of these companies, well...

...at this point, I don't think you're in much of a position to bargain.

Get help, Ford, before you lose everything.