On May 10, 2006, I looked back a year ago at what I was writing in my Xanga. Since what I wrote still has some relevance today, I reprint it now:
(5/10/2005)
Enough of this though, on to my next ranting topic: the Paula Abdul scandal on American Idol. Not that I watch American Idol. You'd have to pay me to tune in. Seriously. Pay me, and I'll tune in. Otherwise, I'm living my life in a useful manner.
I don't know which of two larger issues is sadder about this whole fiasco: A) that it's a scandal at all, being that the dude obviously has a grudge against American Idol and everyone associated with it since he was disqualified after it was discovered that he beat the crap out of his sister on a regular basis, or B) that reality television has gotten so bored of itself, it needs a reality scandal to keep its viewers tuned in and interested.
If you think about it, everything about the scandal is sad. Let's start with the fact that the dude accusing Paula Abdul has a grudge against American Idol. Holy shit dude, you mean the brainwashing, conformist, image-conscious Nazis of reality television wanted you to be a squeaky-clean family boy? AND YOU'RE SURPRISED??????? Hopefully he is cast down with the rest of the trash from society, since he's obviously too stupid to understand any of it.
Even more sad, this is all helping Paula Abdul's image. People say she's becoming a sympathetic character whose popularity is increasing the longer the scandal goes on. Don't ask me why she's sympathetic...maybe 'cause the Man's out to get her? Who knows? But anyway, I've even heard that Paula's image is making a "rebound," which would be the second for her in the past two years. Remember that her albums weren't exactly flying off the shelves after 1992. Wait, what albums?
Perhaps worst of all, this whole scandal has made American Idol more popular, despite my comment above. Let's refresh, shall we:
"Reality television has gotten so bored of itself, it needs a reality scandal to keep its viewers tuned in and interested."
This phrase should mean the end of reality television's existence. Truly. The mere idea of it is a pathetic, new low for reality TV and that is saying a hell of a lot. But it goes on, stronger than ever? Why? WHY?
A frightening prospect exists here: reality television can't kill itself. The new low it reached with a real scandal to promote the ratings of its flagship show actually caused it to grow again. It's like that movie Hollow Man, where they shoot Hollow Man (Kevin Bacon) with a flame thrower and knock him essentially senseless, yet he is still inexplicably able to crawl up the emergency ladder, a charred remnant of his former self. Perhaps he has been made stronger by the fire. Perhaps so has American Idol.
So I urge you once again, America, please, turn off reality TV. I beg you. Do it for your own self-respect. Do it because you WANT to expect better of yourself. These reasons should be enough for you to do it, but they're all I have for now, so please, just listen to me. Go for a walk in the park. Play a family game. Go see a movie. ANYTHING. Just don't continue to support this abomination known as reality television.
Of course, why should anyone listen to me? I mean, who's actually seen Hollow Man?
One year later, I see that American Idol is still on the air and that America has not turned off reality television. My prediction has, unfortunately, been proven right, and I'm not sure why. Maybe because much of America is, much like its President, STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!
On a side note, there is apparently another thing called "Canton Idol," which my cousin Amanda took part in this past weekend. I'm not sure how she did, but she is an incredible singing talent. Maybe she could win American Idol some day... THAT might actually make me watch, for a change.
Still, I'm sure that reality TV is NOT dead, especially with how powerful American Idol is. In fact, I'm not sure if that whole Paula Abdul scandal even "resurrected" the show at all. I'm not sure it ever needed resurrecting...American Idol is basically the most popular show on television.
I don't care though. Until my cousin is on it, I'm not watching. More incentive: the one guy who got kicked off by viewers (perhaps proving the lack of intelligence and sophistication of Idol's viewers) now has a job with the band Fuel. Rock on dude! http://www.comcast.net/music/index.jsp?cat=MUSIC&fn=/2006/05/12/390127.html&cvqm=hit_daughtry
So, America, I could make the same appeal to you one year later, but what the hell, you're not listening. You'll keep this crappy show on the air for another decade with YOUR taste in music. Can I ask you to try to improve that taste in music, at least?
I mean, do YOU trust your judgment? You almost made Justin Guarini a winner...
You choose carefully, America...
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